Is anyone else grieving this last two year cycle?

I remember the beginning of covid: Bernie running for president, viral videos of dolphins returning to the canals in Venice, my father sending me a photo of his home in Chandigarh with bluer skies than he’d seen in decades, communities banding together to support each other; a glimmer of hope that we could see how no amount of money or power will protect us from the karma we are reaping by abusing our shared home: Earth and each other. Maybe we’ll all finally get It.

I remember getting unemployment checks after the movement/job I was pouring my soul into had to furlow me, and thinking ‘well the bright side is we now see that universal income is possible’. What a world we could live in if all were liberated from the shackles of survivalism and free to create! I remember insurance fees being waived, could universal healthcare finally be implemented?

Fast forward to now, the pandemic seems to be an afterthought. We are “opening back up.” All of that collective effort and universal care was never truly implemented. Inflation and individualism seem to be skyrocketing at an unprecedented rate. The Earth still weeps as we continue on in our selfish ways. The wrong people are still gaining power unchecked. Black lives still matter yet no one seems to be marching. I need to accept that it’s back to swimming upstream against the capitalist grind, back to the rough and tumble dog eat dog streets, back to carving out the community I wish my younger self had to begin with. 

Sometimes I feel like a naiive buffoon for being side swept by this all. Sometimes I get called a bleeding heart leftist that will never accept reality for what it is. Sometimes I cry when I watch people continue steal my ideas and not credit me, and profit off the ancestors without proper acknowledgment, and just generally don’t f*cking get It despite the collective efforts to decolonize for real for real.

Yet, I continue to get up every day and try my best. Try to live my values despite the world around me telling me to just give it up and sell out. Fight off the stank energy of the people trying to dim my shine. Allow the space to grieve yet another disappointment. 

I continue to find the others, the ones that do get It. I continue to foster a community that has carried me through the last two years with so much support and love. The ones who embody It, live It, breathe It, mean It. 

Thank you for reading, and I’m wondering: do you feel me? Are you grieving too? Please leave a comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Love and blessings.